JOB’S WIFE, HER STATE OF MIND

 “…we despaired even of life:” 2 Cor 1:8

Having looked at the central characters of the account of Job, let us now begin our examination of the words of Job’s wife. While we have not attempted to make an exegesis of the whole book, we have tried to summarize some important things to consider about Job, his wife, his three friends, Elihu, and finally his encounter with the Lord. Now, as we consider the only statement recorded of Job’s wife in the whole book, let us first look at her frame of mind; why she might of said what she did; who might have influenced her to say it; and finally, what were the implications of her words. This then will be the basic outline of the rest of this book. This chapter will deal primarily with her psychological condition; the following two chapters will focus on the unseen influences that affected her; and the remainder of what we say will be on the spiritual implications of her words.

Now, regarding her frame of mind, let us consider that Job’s wife had lost just as much, and possibly more than her husband. Job was not the only one affected by this trial. She also lost the fruit of her womb and most of her possessions. Her children were grown, but she had invested many years in taking care of them—nursing and nurturing them, teaching and training them, loving and comforting them. To her, being a mother was a high calling and she fulfilled it joyfully. Romance, love, and motherhood are some of the chief purposes and drives of women in general; and to see everything she had loved and labored for suddenly taken away, must have been equally devastating to her. 

Prov 30:15 The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give. There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not, It is enough:
16 The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.

Psa 113:9 He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

1 Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Then, although she was not physically afflicted with a disease as was her husband Job, she must have agonized with him in his suffering. This was her husband, the man she adored and honored, the father of her children, her strength and comfort, her lover and companion. Now, because of all that had befallen them, plus this great illness that had rendered him without strength and bedridden, he could offer her nothing in the sense of physical comfort or protection. Because of his illness he could not provide for her, defend her, or give her affection. She alone bore the burden of caring for Job, as their children were gone, their family and friends had deserted them, and their servants were either killed, or because of their poverty, had left them. There was no one to care for her husband but her. He was an invalid and totally dependent upon her for his sustenance. He could not provide for his own food or possibly even feed himself. He could not wash or clothe himself, or even do the most basic of human functions without her help. Day and night she was at his call, tending to him, as well as trying to maintain their existence in gathering food and the other necessities of life. Was her attitude always patient and loving toward Job in meeting his needs while neglecting her own—probably not. Such situations are often more psychologically demanding on the caregiver than the one who is actually suffering, as their resources are often stretched beyond endurance. It is not hard to imagine that she often ignored his pleas for help as she sat in a state of mental exhaustion.

Job 1:13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:
15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
19 And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

Job 2:7 So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown.
8 And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes.

Job 7:5 My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust; my skin is broken, and become loathsome.

Job 30:17 My bones are pierced in me in the night season: and my sinews take no rest.
18 By the great force of my disease is my garment changed: it bindeth me about as the collar of my coat.

Job 19:13 He hath put my brethren far from me, and mine acquaintance are verily estranged from me.
14 My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.
15 They that dwell in mine house, and my maids, count me for a stranger: I am an alien in their sight.
16 I called my servant, and he gave me no answer; I intreated him with my mouth.
17 My breath is strange to my wife, though I intreated for the children's sake of mine own body.
18 Yea, young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me.
19 All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.

Without any relief, she was probably taxed beyond human endurance and began to despair of life—for her husband and herself. In her state of mind she wished for the only thing that would bring them both relief, both physically and emotionally, and that was to die, to be at rest, to be delivered from earthly toil and suffering. Many times, to desperate people, the only way out of unbearable circumstances is death. It may be looked upon as the coward’s way, or the easy way, or the selfish way, but for those in such a state, it seems like the only way. How often has a loved one been afflicted with a painful disease or condition with no chance of recovery; without hope they linger on and on in terrible agony. Is it a sin for that person, or the one that loves them dearly, to wish for, or to pray for death to come and end the suffering?

2 Cor 1:8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

So in the light of what we can surmise about Job’s wife, we must not think of her as simply a cold, callous woman who was merely tired of taking care of a person that was a burden to her; or that the reason for her speech was that she wished him to die so she could get on with her own life and find happiness again. On the contrary, here was her lifelong companion who was being tormented with a loathsome disease, and she, for his sake, sought for the end of his suffering. Was she in her normal frame of mind when she spoke thusly—absolutely not. Suffering and trials lead us to desperation—which is the very design and purpose of them for the children of God. Trials are not meant to prove how strong “our faith” is, or to see how long we can “hold on” for the Lord. They are meant to show us our weakness and to cause us to cry out to the only One who can help us.

Luke 22:31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

1 Pet 1:6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

2 Cor 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Psa 107:1 O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
4 They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation.

She also, being a women, and because in some ways women are “the weaker vessel,” might have reached this point of desperation before Job—so she was the first to cry out. It has been my own experience, that when the Lord has been dealing in my life about some change of direction, I have resisted the prompting of the Spirit and procrastinated in doing what I knew His will and purpose to be. I have often waited for some further evidence, or for a time more convenient to obey. My wife, on the other hand, often reaches the point of making a decision long before me, and has often been the one to confront me with doing what was obvious.

1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

We may also say about Job’s wife that, being a woman, she was much quicker to express her emotions instead of hiding them. She knew her husband well enough to know what his true feelings were. After all, his whole world had been turned upside down. She may have saw his struggle to maintain a pious outward exterior, while all the time his inward emotions were a boiling cauldron of bitterness about life and about God.

Job 3:1 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.

Job 7:11 Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

Job 10:1 My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.

There are many ways that we could interpret the import of the words of Job’s wife. However, much of what a person says must be examined by his or her frame of mind and how it is said. Was something said sarcastically, humorously, sincerely, lovingly, or in an ill-tempered way? Thus, the tenor of our words is revealed by the inflections we place upon them, and they reveal the true feelings of our heart. Most people have viewed her words as coming from a hard-hearted woman, spoken selfishly, unlovingly, and cruelly. However, as we have looked deeper into her life and the situation she found herself in, we can easily see that this was not the case. Therefore, we must reexamine her statement in light of the kind of person she really was; and this we will attempt to do after we look at two more influences that were at work in her life as well as in Job’s.

Col 2:4 And this I say, lest any man should beguile you with enticing words.

1 Thess 2:5 For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:

2 Pet 2:3 And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

Eph 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: